OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
