Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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