is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
