And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
