i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
