i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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