I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
