True but thats because hes a fetus.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize