i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize