dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
