I feel great
I just peed on a car
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
