then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
sarcasm needs its own font
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
