Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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