We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
