At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Couch. On fire.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
