Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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