I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
