I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
