"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
