# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
