just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
