I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
