please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
