So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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