Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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