I want you more than these girls want KFC
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
