All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
