I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
