Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Randomize