that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you win again, gameday.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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