It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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