Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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