If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
