I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
