After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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