Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
