Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
