I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Everclear isn't food dammit
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
