wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize