forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize