Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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