There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
