I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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