There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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