im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
