just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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