I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
