Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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