...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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