there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize