Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
