I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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