Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
do nipples grow back?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
