the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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