he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
