Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize