I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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