My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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