so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
