the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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