No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
