Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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