so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize