Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Watching her eat just hurts me
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
