Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
