i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
