it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
