that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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