its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
