Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
