I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
