I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
