I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Do you still have your period?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
