I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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