Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
